Stonewall Jackson Papers. 1848 February 28
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Date: 1848 February 28
To: Laura Jackson Arnold
From: Thomas J. Jackson
Place: Mexico City
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City of Mexico
Feby 28th 1848
The mail came on the 26th and in vain I searched the post office thrice for a line from you and consequently sorrowfully commenced my letter to you but on leaving my desk for a few hours on business was agreeably surprised on my return to find your letter mysteriously placed on my table. And now whilst I recommence with joy inexpressible for tongue or pen at hearing of your life still being prolonged I am also most deeply affected with heartfelt sorrow at the words which say "I may not live to receive your answer." But I hope that these words imply nothing beyond what they literally state. To God this is the earnest prayer of your brother. But if he in his great wisdom has afflicted you with disease incurable then may he in his infinite goodness receive you into his heavenly abode where though I should be deprived of you here in this world of care yet I should hope to meet with you in a land where care and sorrow are unknown there with a mother a brother a sister yourself and I hope a father to live in a state of felicity uncontaminated by mortality.
Let not this letter trouble you dearest sister for I could not write one of a different cast with a clear conscience when you speak to me so ominously. But do not be [deterred] by any cause from saying to me plainly that I am sick or that I am well for ambiguity in relation to you is very painful to me.
You appear to think hard of my not writing more frequently but I have not only written by every mail but on one occasion sent by a Spanish friend in [five]. I have embraced every opportunity to say to you that I am in such or such a state of health. But for the future the intention is to send the mail by escorts twice a month on the first and fifteenth so that you may expect to hear from me by every mail until I am ordered from this city which may and which may note be at all as I am in General Smith's brigade and he is governor of the city. I am first Lieutenant and belong to Capt. Taylor's Battery. I hope the war may soon terminate but do not entertain much hope although the terms of a treaty have been sent to Washington and at present an armistice is being made or has been concluded but as yet is not public. Santa Anna has asked of his government a passport for the purpose of leaving the country and it was granted to him on the 13th inst. But it is doubtful whether he will go as several of the states have expressed themselves favorably to him and [------------] has offered him an asylum.
If we both live I expect to see you. Do not allow my words about marrying in Mexico to disturb you. I have sometimes thought of staying here and again of going home. I have no tie in this country equal to you. You speak of my fine horse as in your opinion being rather extravagant but if an officer wishes to appear best he should appear well in everything. I bought the horse having plenty of money and need of [ ] and have since been offered three hundred and fifty dollars for him, that is a hundred and seventy more than I gave and can at any time get more than I gave. My pay whilst with Capt. Magruder was one hundred and four dollars per month and I expect it will soon be the same here but at present it is only about ninety so that I have plenty of money and am in the long run economical although it would not appear to you so as here everything is dear and with you cheap. I dress as a gentleman should who wishes to be received as such. I do not gamble nor spend my money as I think foolishly.
I am very desirous of peace as it may be better for the United States & it may give me an opportunity of again entering your hospitable house & having that sight most delightful of all other earthly ones that is of my sister. My health I think is improving in this country and at all events my knowledge of Spanish is. As I shall have a better idea when the mail will start hereafter I shall try and send you more interesting letters. Remember me to Mr. Arnold & friends in the warmest terms. Your brother.
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